Lindsay Lohan Latest Gossip

Lindsay Lohan was robbed for the 5653rd time the other day.  Apparently, a safe was taken from her house.  She thinks that it’s someone she knows.  She says:

…that’s how i know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren’t taken… just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me

Others are saying that it wasn’t so innocent.  Apparently there are bunch of tapes, pictures, and legal documents that would stir up a whole bunch of press for her.  Over at wwtdd.com, the writer claims to know a few generous souls who are aware of a sex tape that Lindsay plans to sell.  It will be a two parter and this may just be the beginning of the prequel’s release.

I’m sorry but I don’t care.  I will post the shit out of it when it gets released just so i can put “Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape – For Real” as the title of a post but I won’t be happy about it.  As I have said before, I was a Bio major and I have seen some pretty graphic pictures of every STD ever known to man.  I certainly do not care to see them again while desending on fire-crotch’s vagina like the battle for Troy.  That gaping, saggy, roast beef-fest probably looks like a lowerd red pirate ship sail.  Complete with skull and crossbones flag.  The surgeon general made her install one because of the hazards her vagina poses to the viewing and inspecting public.  That shit must be like DDT and the shit they used to put in diet pills so that when pregnant chics took them, their kids were born with flippers.

Sorry that was so long.  Come back when you’re done throwing up your lunch.  Megan Fox is up next!